This Day came Waaaaay Too Soon...

My official evening back to work.....and feeling BLUE,to be honest I'm really sad this time around..I've given birth 2 other times besides this one and I don't remember feeling this down and out to return to work.I've really enjoyed the time at home with my children and we had a routine going,especially because my husband had to get a 2nd job,so it was an adjustment for me to pretty much take on everything,and I wasn't used to that (I know,call me spoiled) no but really, prior to hubby having to work a 2nd job he was around more and pretty much helped out 50% of the time..so it has been a good awakening for me and learning experience on how much work is involved at being a Stay-at-Home mom,I have to say, I've been on my knees alot more,just asking for the strength and knowledge I need to raise my children. Hands down..it is the hardest job around,but at the same time the most rewarding...and I take my hat off to every woman who's occupation is just that...It was really hard for me to leave tonite,but I made my rounds and kissed all my children..once,twice...a hug here,a hug there..Only Kingston and baby Siu were up, Zion was still taking a nap...so I gently kissed him on his forehead...I almost couldn't look at Siu,because I was getting all teary eyed just leaving him..I know, it's only for a few hours..but there's something that happens when you spend a considerable time,quality time with your kids...well with me, 2 weeks prior to knowing that I was scheduled to come back on the 17th, I was already contemplating quitting, and etc. etc. etc..but I tell ya, in this particular time of our country's distress...with our conutry being at war, going through one of the worst economical times since the depression, we really had no other option right now..so as much as I want to just cry and stay home,it's just feasable for our little family at this time...but hey,maybe one day..never say never...well, on the other hand I'm still very grateful for the job that I still have,going on 14 years, I've been blessed regardless..I guess it's my little ole' heart that has been affected by my lil' ones..and not wanting to be away from them for too long...well, I shall go on my NOT so merry way and know that it'll all work out,and trust that it's the best decision for my children to stay employed at the moment...plus my poor hubby had to get a 2nd job,so I'm okay taking a little of the weight off of his shoulders...it's just crazy..we're just barely making ends meet (and we are pretty conservative)or in other words,we don't fit in the 'living lavishiously' lifestyle category...I'm just thankful that we're all still alive and healthy,have a roof over our heads and forever striving to Do What's Right...Alrighty, I feel alot better...I better get back to work (hee hee) my flight was late coming in,but it's due to land in about 10-15 minutes...Goodnite my dear family and friends and May you all have a Blessed Evening......by the way, I hope my hubby is surviving right now,mostly with baby...hey he's had to do it with 2 what's 1 more...LOL!love you hon...Okay Goodnite to all my friends and family and may you all have a Blessed Night! Ofa's, Sad Mommy