In the last 48 hrs I've experienced emotions from one extreme to the other,involving many different situations and scenarios that involve my actual life as I'm living it....To ADAPT or Not to ADAPT seems to be the question on my mind alot....Have I become stuck in what they call your "Comfort Zone?"..am I a creature of my own Bad Habits? Is it my own Fear that is not allowing me to be the person I should be...Do I not stick up for myself or live up to my Integrity? Do I avoid discomfort at all costs? Do I tend to always feel like being the Peacemaker is who I should be?Maybe it's the Pregnancy...Anyways I've felt my Faith waiver on many occasions recently and for some reason there is a HUGE Fear in me that sometimes the way I feel down deep inside is not necessarily the words that are expressed verbally....I know that there is a living GOD and I'm so thankful that he has had mercy on my soul, and has helped me turn my life around in these past few years,but it never fails that the HUMAN part of me tends to find ways that make me have ????? that either will pull me up or pull me waaaay down emotionally...just in a somber mood and wanted to blog about the simple fact that LIFE is Literally Unpredictable at times and I guess I've gotta just roll with the punches...and know that everything good or bad is for my own benefit and growth...I'm just finding out that it is very HARD what LIFE throws at you...thank goodness I have lots of sisters that I can vent to, and just let it all out.love you all sooo much....I've gotta keep remembering that saying...."I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it"...so with that being said I'm already feeling alot better, maybe it's being anxious for this lil one in my tummy to arrive, see there I go again, typical Virgo always having to analyze after I've made my peace, crazy huh!
7 comments:
I believe that it's just your test and course in life.....I have so many doubts in my life but then I just realize that life is full of doubts but that doesn't matter, it's what you end up doing about it that matters. So I always ask myself "What are you going to do?" and most times I go with my gut feeling and when I'm not sure...well there's always Heavenly Father..
Kat, I sooo feel for you! Let me just say that my 3rd child threw me for a whammy! I don't know why but, 1,2 heck even 7 kids was easier for me then 3! I don't know why but, I have talked to many other women about this and they said the exact same thing! Ask your sisters and friends who have more then 3...just out of curiosity...let me know what they said! Also, on a more spiritual note...one of satans greatest tools is never letting us feel worthy...even AFTER we repent and make restitution w/ our Heavenly Father...satan still wants to make us feel low and not good enough! So, don't let those thoughts and feelings creep into your mind anymore...we aren't expected to be perfect just expected to try and give it all we've got! And, I can tell that you are...and I am so proud of you raising your family in the gospel in love and righteousness! Kat, you are such a wonderful, loving, talented and awesome daughter of God and if satan thinks for one second he can make you think any less he will, because he KNOWS the good you have in your heart to offer God's children! Ok, sorry for the sermon...hahaha...love you girl! Lyla
thx Bro..you're right,life just still is tough at times..I go from being on a Spiritual High to a very Spiritual Low at times and I know it's that ole' serpent...but I know my Heavenly Father is there,I've just gotta be stronger and talk with him everyday so I can have the strength to endure this life..love ya
and Lyla you are right with the 3rd child being harder than having 6 or 7...I've heard that from my sisters and friends...I could be having pre-labor blues,but you're right after me being inactive for 15 yrs and than making my way back I still feel here and there that it would be sooo easy to slip right back into my old habits and the old KAT,and I know that will be my struggle if I let it linger in my mind so blogging about this helped me look outside of myself and just re-evaluating the changes that I have made and knowing that I'm not perfect but that I need to be stronger,especially for my children and husband..and girl you can sermon or preach to me anytime...I can learn alot from you...love ya...
well,..that makes me feel alot better...heehee..(I'm not the only one)...I'm just NOW coming out of a low..a 4 week low....slowly but surely..I'm good at smiling and looking like every thing is CHILL...but inside I'm a wreck! I think its NORMAL..to feel hmmm..whats the word....oh..EXHAUSTED...and you just want to crawl in your little hole and feel sad about yourself and life...(which is therapeutic sometimes..at least for me)...at first I kept telling myself to snap out of it...then I thought...oh WHAT THE HECK...cant I just soak in my misery for a LITTLE while..care about nothing...not think of my callings or housework...bills...loving my spouse...etc..well..thats probably NOT good.....but for ME...I NEEDED to have a little time to just not care...and now....well..nothing has gotten better..nothings changed..but I just needed that time...and I feel that FEELING or nudge that its time to get back on track and start trying again...I really believe the Lord understands my reasoning in this..and he let me be...now I'm wanting that true peace and joy back and the spirit of confidence back...hopefully he'll forgive me for giving up these past couple weeks...it was just a temporary 'giving up'.. I'll soon be the happy,joyous, optimistic,full of life Jenny again!!!
So Kat...just do what you CAN do..but don't fret yourself if you feel exhausted to do so...just chill and take a breather and somthing will come to you!
AMEN!!...your post seems up kinda how I was feeling a few weeks ago...but I'm outta that rut and back on track and so too are you!! ...I have nothing much love for you and how far you've come.....and yes life is unpredictable and we just got to be prepared..prepared..prepared! Something I know I'm not!! But thanks for the post...it's definately something all of us can relate too!!
Love this post! Thanks for sharing this, I know what you are feeling, it's the hormones girl!! lol! No but for reals I hope things are getting better for you. When I feel this way my favorite thing to do is take time for myself and have time alone, just let it all out, pray and then ponder it. I open my scriptures and sometimes I will see a scripture that stands out and totally comforts me, and reminds me of what I need to know or do. Well I hope you are doing well with these last few weeks! Take it easy and take care!
Ofas!
Ane
I know exactly the feellings that you're having .. have been my own feelings lately too! I sometimes just wanna scream cause I am so like that . I easily stay in my "comfort zone" and it gets too easy and then sometimes later I wish I would of said something or done something .. it's a feeling that just nags at you .. until you realize you don't have to feel that way .. and then you just get either worse or better.. anyways i just had to let you know ... that I know what your feeling .. well kathi .. luv you take care of yourself ... how far along are you??
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